It’s very almost the Doctor’s 52nd birthday! And that means it’s time to present the definitive guide to finding out… Which Doctor Are You?
Two year’s ago, the Golden 50th anniversary of Doctor Who was hijacked by a few gremlins. But if Doctor Who teaches us anything it’s that time can be changed! For the 52nd anniversary, here’s a recap, with a fully functional and updated way to work out which incarnation of the Doctor you are – No time traveller should be without it!
Follow the guide to find your Doctor and then check the Doctor descriptions down below…
Original version published at: Mirror.co.uk
Which Doctor are you? Incarnation descriptions…
The First Doctor
The original and longest lived (until the Eleventh’s last stand), it was the First Doctor who escaped bureaucratic Gallifrey by ‘borrowing’ a (broken) Type 40 TARDIS many decades ago. Yes, you’re a trendsetter. Crotchety, grumpy and crafty with an occasional bout of extreme unhelpfulness, it took not only your granddaughter Susan but also a few human companions to shape the intergalactic legend of the future.
The Second Doctor
Impish you may be, but with the perfect mix of recorder tooting cosmic hobo and stern professor. Being the first Doctor to use a sonic screwdriver doesn’t mean you’ll give up on the musical interludes just yet. There’s plenty of room in the universe for perfectly timed slapstick, but it would be wise to steer clear of Time Lords seeking justice…
The Third Doctor
An action man and a dashing dandy. As cape swooshingly good on trike, bike, Bessie or Whomobile. You have absolutely no time for the military, no respect for pompous figures of authority and certainly no wish to hold your tongue about anything. In fact, all you really want is to get off Planet Earth and head to the stars where you belong. And where you’ll hopefully find a challenging equal in Venusian Aikido! (and a long waited match-up with the Cybermen).
The Fourth Doctor
So wolfishly, hair-curlingly, teeth flashingly confident you brush off the effect of regeneration with ease. A man of wits, but also conscious that you walk in eternity. It weighs heavy even on a garrulous Time Lord like yourself. The alien outsider you may be, but also the one who spends the most time with your own people. And a variety of giant scarves. And a tin dog. Very accepting.
The Fifth Doctor
Cricket is the answer to most problems and if not, there’s always a stick of celery. While lacking the gravitas of your predecessors, you’re the most likable Doctor, capable of spurring your companions on to great deeds with just a few words. All breathless enthusiasm, you even forgo replacing your broken sonic screwdriver to get your hands dirty. Don’t expect to have many fans among dinosaurs.
The Sixth Doctor
The confidence returns. Unfairly maligned by contemporaries who clearly can’t comprehend that you’re a regenerative triumph, you’re not afraid to let people see you coming. In fact, you give them no choice. Spending a great deal of time looking up or bumping into old friends, but finding time to defeat Daleks, Sontarans and Cybermen, you’re a Doctor with immense potential. And a cat broach.
Bwa ha ha ha. Bwa ha ha ha ha.
The Seventh Doctor
You’re Times Champion! When you get over a prolonged period of clowning around. Prone to moments of silliness, mixing metaphors and playing the spoons, but there was always going to be a greater purpose. Playing manipulative games of chess across the cosmos is your lifeblood, but still, you’ve never been a fan of New Years Eve.
The Eighth Doctor
You’re the life and soul of the Doctor – all the care and passion let loose to fight for justice across the universe. At the bitter end, you’re the one who makes the momentous decision to step into the Great Time War. A wry sense of humour and not averse to lying a little to get a kiss from a damsel in distress (I mean, half human!?)
The Ninth Doctor
The simpler, down to Earth Doctor who walked from the Time War. Also, the second Doctor not to fight a Cyberman. A life too short, but packed full of picking up the pieces in a new universe while shrugging off a huge amount of time baggage. Sometimes you might even think you’ve missed something. But a spoon’s a spoon. A sonic device is a sonic device. And every planet has a fantastic North.
The Tenth Doctor
Popular with practically everybody you meet, especially your companions. Geek chic was certainly the way to go, whether the suit’s brown or blue. As curious as you are irreverent, even when wearing classic 3D specs, you’re certainly not a Time Lord to get on the wrong side of. Even worse, you may want to hand out earplugs just in case you get too excited. I’m so sorry.
The Eleventh Doctor
Perhaps the most alien Doctor to human eyes, but also the most time sensitive. You leap around the timey-wimey vortex and parallel universes with ease, getting yourself into the most ridiculous scrapes to date. Along the way, loss is inevitable and companions more important than ever. Looking so young isn’t all fun, especially if you book a ticket to Trenzalore.
The Twelfth Doctor
You may take some time to get to know yourself, but if you’re ever in doubt about your purpose in life there’s nothing like grabbing your guitar, donning your sunglasses and prancing around the room / console / great hall. Somehow always able to find time to answer some of those long-gestating questions, difficult situations can be avoided with memo cards. Fortunately they’re always close to hand thanks to deep organisational skills that keeps the TARDIS communication circuits up to scratch, and a wardrobe constantly revolving. Deep down, there’s no doubt you’ve got staying power.
The War Doctor
Some times you feel like an enigmatic figure from the past, some times you feel like you’ve forgotten yourself. But rest assured you’re just misunderstood. You’re a no-fuss ambassador for beards and strict screwdriver functionalist. Capable of putting up with a lot, comfortable mulling the big decisions… But you may also spend too much time dwelling on what you’ll be doing in five, 10 or 1,000 years down the line.
Well, at least you look the part.
A Time Sensitive Species
It’s not easy, this transversing the fourth dimension lark. But then, it’s not the monopoly of the Time Lords… You could be a feline Tharil, a time trampling Dalek, one of the stuffily overdressed Time Lords themselves or… Pretty much every returning monster that the Eleventh Doctor’s encountered. Welcome to the fourth dimension. But one thing’s for sure – you aren’t the Doctor.