C’mon, you know you’ve always wanted a long weekend in Arkham…
BATMAN’S BEGUN, DARKENED AND RISEN. Timely then, that this Easter finds a new Dark Knight heading to the Big Screen, facing off against that red and blue DC Comic character far more usually caught up in a Messiah analogy. In 2016, audiences will confront a Bat in his most gnarled and world-weary live action guise yet, having no doubt worn down many if not all of the best rogues gallery in the superhero business over a long and painful career.
So the real question is which of those arch nemeses are you?
Wonder no more Bat-fans – at long last Jokerside presents a guide to discovering which resident of Blackgate Penitentiary or Arkham Asylum you are! Which super scoundrel fits your bill.
Cat, bird or clown? Step right this way…
Follow the guide to find your villainous form and then check the Arkham files below for your four-colour profile.
Which Batman villain are you? Behold the rogueish profiles from the files of Arkham…
FAIL. GOTHAM CITY WELCOMES YOU. AND CAREFUL DRIVERS…
Seriously, everything’s going to be absolutely fine. You just drive on in now… And don’t forget to vote Harvey Dent…
You’re the former district attorney often found in half price suit sales and always with change in his pocket. While there’s no doubt you have an eye for the ladies, sorry, two eyes for the ladies, some days even going to a coffee shop is a struggle.
You’re the villain who always gets their chlorophyll A romantic at heart, you’re never seen around town without flowers in tow, but may well be more successful if all the loot wasn’t spent on accessories.
You’re a mystery. Only found clothes shopping when Poison Ivy isn’t in town, this miscreant’s favourite activity is the Sunday crossword. One of the last devotees of the eye-mask, his greatest conundrum is why people consider him a cheap knock-off of his clownish compatriot.
Keeping the Mexican wrestling/global terrorist look going single-handed is no easy task, but that isn’t going to stop your venom pumping. The intellectual match and physical superior to the Caped Crusader, just try not to get cocky. And watch yourself walking through doors.
The Clown Prince of Crime, you’re the failed comedian who, no… You used to have a beautiful wife, no… You had a family that, no… Aw hell, why so serious? The timeshare deal on your luxury Arkham Asylum penthouse is going great guns… Bang!
You’re the feathered felon as happy with an umbrella as a trip to the zoo, when not bootlegging and gunrunning from your highly respectable downtown Ice Bar. That said, if you do run for Mayor of Gotham again, make sure your tax affairs are in order.
Ra’s al Ghul
While still smarting that comics show you as at least 500 years old, you will never stop your quest to create your new world order. As sharp with a razor as a sabre, surely one day everyone will be as dapperly facial haired as you?
Fond of clutching at straws, you’re the professor of psychology who’s seen better days – if only that immense intellect had been used to point the spray can in the right direction. Prone to phobias at the drop of a bale, it’s no surprise you wear a sack cloth over your head most of the time.
A dark secret, an enmity brewing from childhood and fortunately permanent access to fresh supplies of bandages thanks to being a Doctor. Filling the void left by so many Gotham villains who haven’t yet realised that they can brandish weapons in both hands. Game-changing. But don’t shout about it.
Flirting with good and bad, you’re a silky, slinky siren who out-cools the Pink Panther. As comfortable on a motorbike as you are hanging from the 35th storey window, you’re sure to catch the eye of every casting agent in town.
A cool character and yet another romantic. Finding those round, red sunglasses changed your life but you’re still a tragic figure at heart. One day those winter related antics and brooding blue looks may pay-off, allowing you to retire to somewhere above the Gulf Stream.